In the last few years, I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of strong women within our pagan community. Which has taught me much about myself and the value of the divine feminine can be. When I was growing up it wasn't something that I have seen much beyond the borders of family. As my mother and her sister and my aunts were more about family than friendships outside of it. I always wondered why I had never seen friends my mother or they had and in some aspects, I think it was a way to separate family and friendships. We each want to have comfort and be able to have our own spaces. Sometimes when this comes about it is more about personal identity than the ones defined by our blood. As we grow up our relatives create ideals from the first time we are seen and during the stages of our lives. When it comes to friendships it's more based on who we are as a person than it is on a narrative gained from personal insight. It allows us to be who we want and share who we are without the fear of Sunday dinner drama.
Yet in the spiritual community friendship can turn into something more and become a designated second family. One who sees us grow and can connect with us on a spiritual level than those we may have been raised with. Many of the female relationships that I have had the joy of encountering all seem like they are searching. For some, it's for validation never shown, while others are looking for friendship that is rooted in truth and vulnerability. When we look at female relationships and female empowerment we have been pitted against each other. Sometimes it's due to mistrust within us and other times it's because the power of the bonds created is hard to ignore. As women, we are not taught to hide our emotions or be shamed for not being strong enough. Yet as we grow with that emotional vulnerability it can be used as a weapon against us. If a woman speaks up she's taking things too seriously or is perceived as an instigator. If a woman doesn't speak up then she is weak or lesser for remaining silent. Sometimes this narrative is pushed by those outside of the female experience while in others it is within.
Why is it so hard to be true to each other? What do we fear may happen if we acknowledge our flaws or the flaws of others? How do we turn it from being a battle and more in a way of healing? These are the things I have asked myself more times than I can count and honestly it comes to communication. Many of us have the connection of reading energy because we are a life force in which energy is created. This leads us to feel everything so deeply even when we hide the truth within ourselves. When it comes to spirituality and sisterhood I have seen the many wonderous things that can come from it. We uplift those in our communities and become the mothers, sisters, and aunts of our community. But on the same hand, each of us either directly or indirectly heals the wounds we keep hidden. In times of turmoil or anguish, we put our differences aside to aid each other. Not because we want recognition, but because we all know the darkness each of us keeps. We have all felt our power drained by things beyond our control. We know that to see another suffer in these times and do nothing is not how we would wish to be treated. We understand the value of community and how it has the ability to be something stronger and better than itself. The conversations had are better than the assumptions we make.
At times it can feel like we pass the broom to each other trying to give strength and courage to change and cleanse ourselves. To know that burdens are not something we face alone, but something we all deal with. This past few months I have watched as countless women in our community uplift and offer helping hands. From new business adventures, sickness, and even in the creation of life. The point in which im trying to make with this post is its up to us to keep these bonds strong. For us to lean more towards resolutions than to fuel the fires of conflict and in doing so keep each other accountable for our actions. Sometimes we do things based on what we think it may be rather than facts. While others we feed into because it perpetuates the insecurities we each face. Instead of silencing each other for a suggestion or opinion why not drop the ego and allow an outside perspective? So much of the practices we do and teach are based on the lessons we learn. It's up to us to set an example of what healthy female bonds look like. How knowing that to every individual we meet, there are layers in which we may never see. But if given the chance you would find that we are much more alike than we are believed to be. I personally have decided to bring forth change within myself and the honesty that comes with it. To take personal accountability for perceptions perceived versus narrative that has been driven. I will self-evaluate myself in the relations I keep with not only myself but with those around me. I choose to have more conversations than to sweep them under the rug in hopes the smoke will clear. I want to be not only part of the change for our sisterhood, but for those who watch afar as well.
The Devine Witch
Debbie Lewis
Nailed It!!