The Internal Spiritual Struggle
As I woke up and had my morning cup of coffee I reflected on the last few months of my spiritual journey. Upon doing so I came to a realization that some may call the ah-ha moment that some know as a moment of clarity. See when we talk about the internal spiritual struggle we only think of the darker aspect within one’s self. But yet if we look at the bases of shadow work from all the different perspectives we’ve been taught we start to see a pattern. For me when I think of spiritual enlightenment the first thought to come to the forefront of my mind is peace. Someone, no matter what struggle is placed upon them they have the ability to remain in a state of relaxation. But yet if we ask these people as to how they remain so calm and collected during times of hardship. Depending on who you are talking to you will get many different thoughts and opinions on it. But one thing that does seem abundantly clear from my own personal research is they allow themselves to acknowledge the emotion but not become consumed by it.
How is this possible to not be consumed by an emotion within the moment?
This is one of those questions that I have spent my morning pondering on and how I deal with emotions. This is when the answer finally came to me as if it all somehow made sense within that moment. You see we try as spiritual beings to push progression at a steady pace and if something is not working it becomes discouraging. Which can lead you down a spiral of questioning your spiritual path. When we try to fix things we normally go through the positive and the negative. But not all the time can things be so cut and dry why it comes to responses we have. Some can be manifestations of trauma that were either forced upon us or one we choose willingly to endure. Which creates a defense mechanism that others may not be prepared to deal with. Ultimately ending in failed friendships or relationships we have with other people. When things tend to end it leaves us with a range of emotions that ultimately involve internal reflection. This is where we try to kill those parts of us that are not pleasing and have caused us issues. But where is the line between getting rid of the bad within and killing pieces of ourselves start?
See when we get rid of something we as people tend to try and replace it with something we or society deems acceptable. But what if some of those things we are trying to keep in the shadow self are really part of our soul core. Now my no means do I suggest that all things we change within ourselves are part of our soul core. Some are just things we have obtained within this lifetime that does no good for us or the world. Which we all know that opinions of the mass population change with time and the world they currently live in. So something that was once deemed obscure could be seen as pleasant ten years down the road. Within my journey of spiritual development, I’ve noticed things that I have even tried to smother out. Things that were part of my soul core and that is what has created this emptiness that one may feel. It’s almost the longing for something that is missing and yet you’re not sure what. So how does one know if something is part of their core self? I would say when asking who we are it’s best to look back into who we were growing up. This is the time our individual personality started to form its self and eventually shapes our opinions on the world around us. If you notice certain things you have done that you have from the start, then to me this is your core self.
Sometimes in our lives, we try to kill things that make us who we are because we feel it’s necessary to fit in. But by doing so we kill pieces of ourselves that are valid to who we are as individuals. So the experiment I pose to anyone who reads this is “Spend a day reflecting on the internal growth you’ve done. Then ask yourself has that changed your life for the better or has things remained the same? By doing this in my opinion it allows us to see ourselves from a different perspective. Instead of trying to fix what we think is wrong with us, we are analyzing the data from that change. By doing so we may discover that certain parts of ourselves weren’t the issue. But instead, it was the environment in which we were in at the time that caused a problem where there was none. If so if we integrate that part of ourselves that we hide will it bring us back to a healthier state of being? All in all, this is a reminder to myself and to others who may see this. That sometimes, the issues we think we are dealing with bring us to a new level of spiritual awareness. Are not always so clear on one’s spiritual journey and we have to acknowledge sometimes the things we try to hide away are who we are. So the next time you decide to do spiritual reflection or work towards being a better you. Remember that not all parts of us everyone will like. This is something we must face and learn that the only thing we have control over is ourselves. At the end of the day are you happy with the life you lead and who you’ve become?
By: Samora Knight
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