As Sowin has come and gone and we inch closer to the holidays of Friendsgiving and Saturnalia I want to write about spiritual Evolution. Sowin is the witches' new year as it is the time when things die and get put to rest. As winter approaches it freezes the earth while giving it a loving kiss from the waters of life. As spring approaches it begins to come to life after taking a break from the harsh cold winds of the north. When summer appears the seeds of spring come into bloom and grow with each passing day. Until we meet the season of the witch and Sowin starts its cycle once more.
During the last few months as the cycle of death and renewal came on the winds of the east carried the need for change. I was forced to face the things I'd held onto for too many seasons and new ones that needed to find their end. It's never a pretty sight when the gods, universe or nature itself forces change upon us. It breaks down the process of who we thought we were and what we thought we needed. It shows us we are not indestructible and time is more precious on the road to the pursuit of happiness. It reminds us that we do not need to focus on another happiness when we neglect of our own. Life itself is part of the spiritual evolution you cant have to piece without first experiencing chaos.
Over the last year, I have watched my journey from the last sowin in contemplation as I periodically did check-ins into my own path and emotional needs. Which for anyone who focuses more on others than oneself in the beginning it feels like a selfish task. Which makes you wonder why is it that you feel this feeling. Why is it a selfish task to worry about one's own needs vs the needs of another? This is when the mind starts to change for the better and you start to do it not in one area of your life but all. Because you realize that the checking in with ones own needs is a part of spiritual growth. The plant doesn't know it needs to grow to grow, But it does know if it's not watered and given the nutrients it needs. It will eventually die out and when you start to compare yourself in such a way. You become more aware of your needs for the betterment of your life in both spiritual and nonspiritual contexts.
As witches we feel the need to nurture and to be present to seek the answers of truth in our lives and sometimes the realizations are not always one we wish to face. But yet every spiritual path has talked about the spiral of death and renewal. We have heard it so many times in books, discussions and in informational videos. But we never have the full process and experience shared of those dark downward spirals. It becomes more of a quick statement we make when asked if we are ok. Then it does actually become a deep discussion not on the subject matter, but the lost cold journey. You question yourself and your purpose in so many ways that the sense of direction is just no longer relevant. Over the last few months, I felt this way and when asked what do I need. I found myself saying the same thing over and over of I don't know Like the question itself made me wonder "What do I actually need?"
Most of us get told at a young age about what we need or what we should strive for when it comes to happiness. We grow and evolve but deep within it still lays their of that projected wants and needs. But do those indoctrinate wants and needs actually align with what we truly need? I mean needs are ever-changing from year to year. Each person does not have the same wants or desires and I myself am the same. So I started to ask myself what is it that I need. What is it that is killing my plant and not allowing it to expand its roots and grow? To be honest I haven't fully figured it out. But I know I do not need all the answers to that questions because it's something that evolves as I do.
But here is what I have discovered and by writing this blog I hope it sets as a reminder for myself or another who may feel the same way. Energy can be transformed and changed, But if your energy is wasted on a garden that doesn't grow. The energy given can never be taken back, But the lesson learned will remain for a lifetime. The action that falls before you are the truth and no matter what illusion you placed before it, the truth shall remain the same. The words spoken manifest the reflection of self. Last but not least the spiritual spiral of self-evolution never breaks or bends but transcends the experience you are in.
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