Ever since I started my priesthood one of my main focus points has been mental health and wellbeing.Anyone who deals with people in a public way that takes both a leadership and spiritual role realizes that mental health is at the core. It's a double-edged sword between acknowledging one's own mental health and that of those they work with. Trying to find the balance of knowing when one has reached their limits. While acknowledging the role in which one has been given in their spiritual path. Many priests/ess struggle with their own mental health due to the overwhelming amount of people they help on a daily. One knows that as a spiritual leader there are expectations for one's self that the average spiritual practitioner doesn't face. This is also a common theme in family patriarchy as well, as the elder is seen as the family overseer.
Ever since I started my Hiadus for the year it's been a time of evaluating my own mental health and limitations. This is normally something that I do towards the winter months, but this year it has hit earlier due to the stress I have encountered. One thing that has come up for me and my own personal journey is the realization of limitations and the effects it has on me. Like most spiritual leaders I push my boundaries in my dedication to helping those around me. It's easier to focus on others than it is to focus on oneself. Because for another you can analyze the situation from an outside perspective. When working on one yourself you have no external or emotional disconnect to where logic can dictate. So during these times of emotional distress or just plain stress, one must analyze everything as logically as possible.
But in the pagan community, I noticed not a lot of leaders talk about this struggle. Which is a pagan priest/ess going thru a time of mental unrest. Most of the resources I have found have been from other religious paths. Even here in my own community, only one person out of every priest I know has talked with me about it. While others say this is the burden of the priest/ess as if it's some mythical curse one should bare. Why is it frowned upon to be so open about the personal struggles we face? When we so often suggest shadow work and self-reflection. We talk among our tribes/covens or friends, but in the public eye, we must remain stoic. To me that just has never made sense, yes we have a spiritual connection that helps us guide others. But even the guide sometimes needs direction, hence why we have soul journeys.
Over my time I have watched hours of discussions from different philosophical and spiritual leaders who talk about happiness. How sometimes simplicity and not holding onto what you think others want is being true to one's self. We often forget that the insight many shares come from experience and that person's own struggles. Which was taken and spun in a way to help others who experience similar things. To be honest, I feel the transparency I have had over the years has been a factor as to why The Devine Witch group has done well. Because I admit my faults and the growth and struggles I face. It's part of my path and my attempt of becoming the best version of myself. Over the last few weeks, I've had conversations with members who are going thru similar things. To me, it doesn't help get rid of the struggle i face but it gives me the awareness that we all are more similar than we realize. Which is a reminder I think we all need a refresher on from time to time when it comes to this game of life.
This past Wednesday I recorded a podcast with a friend I met at Sacred Journey Market named Meg Dixon. Who knew weeks later we would be having a discussion on the topic of spirituality and mental health? When I met her at the event I was not quite there in my mental break. But I definitely knew I was on my way to one due to the lack of sleep from insomnia and the stress of the Witch In The Woods event just a week away. It's times like this when I reflect on things that let me notice how the universe provides us with people we didn't know we needed. As I prepped for her interview for the podcast, I could tell that my own questions about spirituality and mental health were coming into play. When the day arrived and I was doing the interview it felt like being in the moment and not at the same time. As if I wasn't experiencing the interview as I was learning from it. To me, it's what makes this whole hiatus process fascinating and complex at the same time. My spiritual work has always been my escape in some ways and yet my spiritual work has in itself become my therapy. It's an odd paradox when these things happen and trying to rationalize without overanalyzing it. To take in the knowledge one is presenting and incorporate it within ones self. It was a reminder that one's self will always come before the herd, But sometimes the herd is what reminds you of oneself.
Even as I finish my final thoughts, I know Hekate is with me and guiding me in this time. As I searched for the perfect image to accompany this post. I stumbled upon an article written in 2016 about reclaiming the high priestess. To me, it is a sign to others a mere coincidence, But it spoke to me and maybe it will speak to you as well.
The Devine Witch
Debbie Lewis
References
Photo/blog(Highly Recommend -Reclaiming High Priestess- Rising her- online community for women
Meg Dixon - Just Healing with Meg | Facebook
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