When it comes to shadow work and the improvement of one's self, we all talk about the process of it and never the aftermath following it. For many of us, shadow work is about acknowledging things we have either suppressed or acknowledged within ourselves. Which can take a lifetime to overcome or even know there is a change that needs to be. Sometimes it's about going back over and over until the moment of release is finally had. Last year I was thrashed into a lot of self-realization and growth that felt like a whirlwind of emotions. The navigation between thoughts and feelings and processing them. A lot of things came to mind in my time with my shadow self and I'm sure more will present later in my life. But during this time I found a lot of why such things triggered me. The core of why things brought so much grief and pain that I received from my experiences. Now I will never apologize for who I was or the thoughts and feelings I had because those were valid emotions and thoughts at the moment. But upon inspection, I realized how much power I took from myself and gave into other people's hands.
The day this reality came into my view and I could fully see the impact it had on me emotionally, mentally, and physically, I was able to implement change. It's not something that is all done at once and will be ongoing. But it gave me a roadmap to really work from within myself and what I wanted out of my life. When I started to heal those parts of myself I was able to heal the connections to which I lost myself in. Finally, I could release the tension in my muscles and unclinch my jaw. My thoughts finally became mine again and not the nagging negative thoughts that plagued it for years. It was such a liberating experience to have to finally be free from the self-imprisonment I allowed. When I started to set my boundaries and limitations of myself I felt grounded and heard. Though at the time many didn't understand what was going on and worried about me. When we allow others to drive the narrative for so long we allow the control we give ourselves to be lost. So when we take back our power in a way that is not threatening and calmer, it can be a shock to those who have known that chaos for so long.
This is when we start to see the other side of the shadow come to light that many don't address. This is where the actions of the past get used as weapons against instead of the belief in personal growth. So many times we see people talk about personal growth, yet display the same actions and further show no change. When true change comes about and is presented others around do not know how to interact. Instead, it becomes a waiting game in the shadows of the rooms dimly lit. In my spiritual journey, I have had many things done to me and things I have played a hand in. When it comes to the past it's a teaching tool for me rather than one filled with regret and harboring hate. As I have accepted my journey of change and growth, I give the ones around me the same courtesy. We are ever-evolving in our thoughts and practices and if we truly wish to progress forward it will show. The actions will speak louder than the words presented and others will take note. I write this in knowing I am not the only one going thru changes and trying to be better for myself and the future. Eventually, the next generation of spiritual pagans will come out and revive and invent new methods of spiritual awareness. Until that point comes it's up to us to grow and evolve with that change.
As you go forth on your spiritual journey to a better you, keep these thoughts in your mind and remind yourself to be kind. The process for each of us is different and yet the outcome is generally the same in the wave of progression. Incorporate the magick of healing in self-love and love for the communities you are a part of. Know that on the other side of the shadow it can feel isolating at times. Even though you know the change and feel it within your core being not everyone will accept the change. Which can be hard when you know the growth you have made and so do the one's around you. I feel in the paganistic lifestyle we focus on the cycles of the year and get lost in the cycles of our lives. The years may be similar to the seasons, yet every year something new comes about. Keep this in mind as you continue your journey into the shadow and embrace the best parts hidden within it.
Even though there is hidden hurt and things that need to be worked on for the spiritual progression of one's self. There is also a side we bury because of generational bias that told us not to be loud, Don't howl at the moon, or dance in the rain. Because by doing so you are different and a nuisance to society. But without those fun things that may seem like we have lost our minds at times, We lose a bit of joy in the silliness. This is one thing I love about the new generation as they discover their spirit. Luckily for me, it has infused into my soul with the help of Aphrodite to come forth. I will no longer live with regret nor will I dread who I am, for, in the end, we are a soul having a human experience. Which, I will enjoy while the gods allow me to rise each day. While continuing to share my love, knowledge, and strength with those who need it. I hope you will do the same and may the gods bless you upon that journey of freedom and spirituality.
The Devine Witch
Debbie Lewis
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