When it comes to finding the pagan path their are many ways it will come to us. But the most interesting piece is when we have those omg moments of realization. The kind of realization that only comes once you are on the path. The moment you take a look back at your life and notice how it all lead to that moment. The moment in which she came to you and you could finally understand. For many of us no matter our religious background there comes a moment in time where it all connects. Some of us had friends no one else could see or communicate with besides us. Maybe you where a child who was obsessed by rocks and naming them and before you knew it a collection began. Many parents see things like this and make a different name for them .But what if the friend no one seen was your guide , appearing to you as another child. Those rocks you collected was a connection to a past life where the power of a crystal could mean life or death. Its amazing how many stories you will hear within the pagan communities. The sense of wonderment that most children loose because we are taught its all make believe. When in fact its just being in tune with the world we where born into . Seeing the things that many have long forgotten because of the tradition of its just stories.
One of the most constant things besides these is hearing the voice of the great goddess . Now depending on your path you walk the great goddess can be different for each individual , yet the feeling still remains the same. This hearing a woman speaking to us with love and compassion. Showing up when we are scared and the mortal world has ignored our crys for help or solace. Sometimes these memories are so long ago we forget about them until we hear stories shared. Its at this point in our journey we wonder what does it mean and how did they know to find us? Was it just that our crys where so loud they could not be ignored or was it something more magickal. Is it possible we have been sworn to follow the goddess of old or is it something genetically encoded within us. As we grow in our path we realize we are all connected not just by flesh but by spirit. Our energy is every changing its form but yet we still recognize things before we can identify them.
I cannot explain how others had their first experience with the goddess and how she appeared. But i can explain how i know Hekate has been in my life and guiding me since i was young and this is my story.
One night i was in my new room that use to belong to my brother before he had moved out on his own. I was laying in bed surrounded by the darkness as i was awakened from my sleep. I couldn't move and i couldn't breath , i can still remember that feeling of gasping for air like it was yesterday. Now many will claim this was sleep paralysis but for me i know it is something more . As i opened my eyes in my ensued panic i could see this dark shadowy creature with eyes that glowed of a amber red . I wanted to cry out for help but as i was unable to breath nothing would come out. Even as a child when you loose the ability to breath you know you are in trouble. It was in that moment i heard a woman's voice come to me . Guiding me to take my energy and push even though i cant move use my spiritual force to push forward. It was as if a odd calm came over me and internally i could feel this primal scream as i pushed my energy forward. It was in that moment i was free from what ever was trying to hold me down. I remember going to my parents crying and gasping for the air i had been lacking for the last five minutes. I told my mom and dad what had happened and it was the first time i seen fear in their eyes. It was the first time i could tell they didnt know what to say or do. So of course the only thing they could think of doing was taking me to the hospital to get checked out. I still remember the doctor coming in and saying all the test results where normal and that nothing appeared wrong. That if it happens again to bring me back to the hospital and they would do a sleep study on me. The thing was it never happened again and after that moment it changed me. I didnt know who it was that guided me , my mother thought it was a angel or my grandmother. But as i grew up and found the path i walk today i know in my heart . It was My goddess, my soul mother , my teacher Hekate. She is the one who helped me that night and i thank her every day for it.
Now my story may seem extreme and not all stories you find about peoples first experience with the goddess are the same. But after realizing this , it changed how i thought about spirituality. It made me wonder if the gods we choose are never really chosen but some how predetermined by our past lives. I still ponder on this fact and im sure ill never find out the answer until i meet the final crossroads of my life. But until than i shall think about it untill the day it all becomes revealed.
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